I Need You
by Sabara Winner
Summary: [AU] Shinji and Asuka as sled dogs on their way to the Alaskan Mainlands. Told in Shinji's POV. Fluff?
1. Chapter 1

I don't remember much about what happened today, there was so much going on around us. It must have been something important though, I've never seen men run about in such an orderly manor. Whatever they were doing, they wanted to do it right and get it done fast. It was early when they came, I don't even think the sun was up yet. Asuka and I were loaded into a new enclosure, the one were in now I guess. All I can remember is a bright light drowning my eyes and the protesting snarls of my companion as we were both pushed roughly into this pen. There was a resounding thud, like a sandbag dropping to the floor, and Asuka was quiet. I awoke immediately, and to my eyes came a sight I had never beheld before. I wanted to look at her, to see if she was all right, but I found my eyes drawn to the vast swelling of water before us. I had known it was there all along, but never had I been this close to the ocean that I could actually taste the salt on my tongue. The yelling of the men and the wailing of other dogs were drowned out as wind whistled over the bow of the boat and sailed like a bird over the ocean top. It was such a beautiful sight, and I wanted to share it with Asuka, but she would have none of it, and I was quickly shut up with a snap of her jaws. 

She's asleep now, and I'm glad for it. We've been bobbing on this vast body of water for many shifts of the sun now, and there is still no land in sight. It doesn't matter though, I don't really care, I'm just glad for the peace. I can't help looking at her, she's just so beautiful. I've seen a lot of dogs in my life but none like her. I've often thought of letting my muzzle lose itself in the forest of her flame red pelt, playfully tracing the lines that separate it from the glistening white of her undersides. So badly I want to steal a quick nuzzle of her pelt, and it's hard to resist the urge especially now that she has moved so close to me. She told me it was to keep warm and that if I dared to think anything more she would bite my tail off...and she would too. I've known her for a few months now, and not once has she made a threat she did not keep, and it's quite often that she makes them. Since we were paired together, I've been trying to understand her, trying to reach out to her and somehow ease the angry tension between us. However, the only amount of joy she derives from me, is watching me try and understand her complexity and shy away whenever she advances at me teasingly. I don't understand her. I had thought at first that all she wanted was to be feared, but every time I would cower before her, no matter how submissive I was to her, she only got angrier. She would lunge on me and drag me up by the fat of my neck hollering at me to grow a back bone and stand up to her. For the life of me I can't figure out what part of her logic says if you scare him senseless he'll be responsive. That was months ago though, and I know better now.

Everything changed when we left our temporary kennel; in fact it was much like this except we were in the bowls of a train. She was sleeping as always, she likes to sleep on rides, and I was ready to doze off as well. Something small caught my ear, a small sound barely audible. It was quiet and painful to hear, almost pitiful like a child who complains of a little bump on the head. I searched around me, but the dogs that were there were either awake or quiet. The sound came again, and instinctively I turned my gaze to Asuka who was shivering. The sound was coming from her...she was crying. In that moment I just wanted to laugh at her, wake her up and in the presence of all of these dogs humiliate her. So the great Asuka was nothing more than a show off! She was no infallible being devoid of emotions as I had once believed, and in a way my fear of her seemed almost ridiculous. In fact, I was pissed! How dare she treat me like some kind of underling when she can't even keep herself from sobbing in her sleep like some sort of lost puppy? I couldn't help but grin deviously at her as I prepared to wake her up, but then something caught my eye. Apparently another dog had heard her whimpering, and was searching for the source, his eyes coming dangerously close to landing on Asuka. This fellow, Jokser or something had often been the brunt of Asuka's teasing besides me. He would no doubt exploit her weakness if he saw it. Before I even had time to think about what I was doing, I lifted my paw and whimpered tending to it like a mother does to her pup. His eyes landed on me and he tilted his head curiously. I kept the show up for a little while longer, wobbling my leg pathetically and licking at it before he rolled his eyes and let his head lay down to slumber. I could have died. Why? Why did I do that for her? All she ever did was treat me like crap and call me names. She would insult me and bring up all my faults, and then punish me for being remorseful. What was I supposed to do? When you do something wrong your supposed to apologize right? So I do and then I get this lecture about how I'm a wuss and have no backbone. Sometimes she would even go so far as to question if I was 'intact' or not. Usually then I would tell her to stop, but she would just laugh at me. What on earth did she want from me? Why did I defend her like that? And...and...and why do I stand by her? Why do I stay by her side even when were let out of our pens to roam? Why do I feel so uncomfortable whenever I'm not with her? Why do I refuse to run unless she is close to me in the traces? I had never even thought about it until that day. Many events ran through my mind, times I had spent with her when I could have been with the other nicer females. Times when we were being shipped off and I would find myself frantically looking for her. Times when I would eat only half of my food so that she could have more. My mind wandered still to times we shared. Nights alone in the pens, talking about our job and what inside us drives us to run. Days that we spend together in mutual silence with smiles on our faces just because the weather is nice. Evenings on the road when she lays so close to me that I can hear her heart beat. Mornings that she says nothing so I can sleep in. There are literally thousands of reasons why I should want to be freed from her company, yet I act on none of them. Why?

I'm still looking at her, even though the dogs around me are yelling at birds and gawking at the sea. A lot of the dogs we've met have not been very friendly, but I've never been the victim of foul play, despite my obvious submissive nature. Dogs far more dominant than me have fallen under the jaws of those bigger and stronger, but whenever I'm around Asuka, none of them bother me. Even the females in heat do not advance towards me, and I dare not go near them for fear of Asuka's wrath. She's a jealous girl I've come to realize, and I'd rather not invoke her wrath. Even when she sleeps like this, they don't bother me. I don't really know what it is, but as much as she teases me and taunts me, I've never really felt physically threatened. Even this morning when she bit my shoulder, I felt more remorseful than fear. She's a complex female, and it was my fault for not asking her if she was okay. Even if she growls and tells me to mind my business, I know her well enough to know that she appreciates it, maybe even enjoys it when I notice her. Something has happened to her in her life, something she'll probably never tell me. That doesn't matter though, I want to stay with her, and I want to help her. Even if she acts like she doesn't want me around, I won't leave her side. I'll be with her forever.

As I let myself lay down a little bit away from her, a new feeling overcomes me. I can't go so far as saying its love, hell I can't even muster up enough love for myself...no it's something different. It's a kind of feeling that I have never been aware of before, though I'm sure it's been there for a while. I move over a little to give her more room, she's shifting a little bit. I can't help but smile as she does so, coming ever slightly out of her sleep to reposition herself. I'm happy when I'm with her, even when she teases me. The desire to be close to her overpowers the momentary sadness I feel when she picks on me. Sometimes it doesn't even bother me anymore, and I think she knows it. She's a little more playful about it, when she calls me idiot there's more joy in her tone than malice. Still, she doesn't let up where it counts, and can come down on me hard if she feels I'm getting too soft or too comfortable. I don't mind it though. I don't even mind the confusion that plagues my mind. Not knowing why I chose to stay with her, not knowing why I find comfort in her. It doesn't matter anymore. Whatever is pulling me to her, whatever is keeping me together, I don't mind it, and I don't want it to end. I want to be with her forever because-

"Shinji...will you stop moving over, it's too cold...idiot."

END

**Authors Note:** Okay I couldnt think of anything nifty to call this part o.0. Anyways, in case you didnt notice (not sure how someone could do that XD) This is Shinji and Asuka in the form of Huskies going on a boat trip to the Alaskan mainlands for work. Strange I know...but yeah thats me. Hope you enjoyed anyways! 


	2. Chapter 2

Each sound lulling you into a sick sense of comfort that both pleases and depresses you.

There is nowhere in the world you would rather be right now is there? So close to him, yet so far, receiving a comfort from him that you could never achieve at any other distance, not even if he were to be standing right beside you. Like a bird who has been handled by man, no longer wary though the instinct to flee still remaines. Able to retreat if you feel the urge, and yet close to the one you want to be close to.

The noise stops…there is silence.

The bird flutters away, retreating to her nest where she can watch ins afety.

This distance is good, she tells me, though I do not know why. I know how she thinks.

This distance is good, but it shall not last, it shall end all too soon.

Footsteps draw closer, and she retreats to her nesting in feigned exhaustion.

The door slides open slowly, and closes at an equal speed.

There is silence again, broken by gentle shufflings, overshadowed by the beating of her heart.

This distance is good. Yes I know.

Her mind is then silenced with the sweep of a gentle hand over her brow.

It is quiet for quite a while.

This distance is good too.

She agrees.

* * *

**Authors Note:** Ok this might be terriblly confusing, and yeah it is. Basically its a conversation between Asuka's inner voice and herself. The part of her that knows she longs for comfort talking witht he part of her that she allows to be seen. Basically just inner dialogue.   
This whole idea was spurred on by a picture that I saw on the web of an obvious night scene. Asuka was standing out in the hallway in the shadows, and through the doorway next to her you could see Shinji in the kitchen doing the dishes and other womanlly things I'm sure XD hugs Shinji Anyways, to me (since I love to read into everything) this was a way she could be close to him without her being too close to him...and yeah at the end I went nuts with waffyness but who cares! I sure dont! 


End file.
